(Wiki special opens inside Richmond Int'l Raceway around 11:00 AM outside Trixie Tang and Kevin's hauler while Trixie, Kevin, Timmy, Bubbles, Edd, Jackie, and Ed were eating breakfast)
Kevin: Well, babe, it's our first race together. NASCAR on our wedding day I would say. Even though we married this morning around 9:00 AM, we still have a race to run tonight. What do think about tonight's "wedding reception" on the track tonight, Trixie?
Trixie: I think it's wonderful! I'm proud to be part of yours and Timmy's team, Team Fastex.
Timmy: Tell me about it, Trixie. Your change of heart for me (referring to when they first joined NASCAR) really helped, even though I'm married to Bubbles.
Bubbles: Awwww.... *kisses Timmy on the cheek and Timmy blushes*
Trixie: If only Jackie could race, but she's more of an off-road member.
Ed: Like banana slugs?
Trixie (after hearing Ed's stupid quotes): *laughs to herself while drinking her milk*
Timmy (in unison to Trixie laughing): Really, Lumpy?
Ed: Have not a clue what you just said, little buddy.
Kevin: Relax, hon. You don't want milk comin' outta your nose.
Trixie: *recovers from laughing* Okay, Kev. *sighs and continues eating her crepe* *scene cuts to "NASCAR Raceday: Served By The Krusty Krab")
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): We're here live from the famous Richmond International Raceway in Richmond, Virginia for the first nighttime race of the year, the Pontiac Excitement 400! The Richmond International Raceway has been one of the famous tracks on the NASCAR Winston Cup Series scheduke, but many drivers call it a nightmare. Racing here in prime-time is always a challenge for these drivers. Sparks flying, tempers flaring, and possible paybacks on the racetrack are typical when it comes to night-racing on the NASCAR Winston Cup schedule, especially this D-shaped facility. Helllo everyone, I'm Bob Jenkins, alongside former NASCAR Champion and race analyst, Benny Parsons. BP, night-racing is always fun, but sometimes treacherous for these drivers and teams.
Benny Parsons (ESPN): Indeed it is, Bob. Note, these new drivers for both Team Fastex and Team REXCOR had never raced under the lights before, but tonight, they're gonna have to adapt to both the sunset and the night sky in order to receive victory in this race and for many night-races to come on the schedule. Trust me, Bob, there ain't nothin' better than a Saturday night at the races.
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): After 2 weeks ago's "Talladega Tumble", and Lap 225 engine failure in Fontana last week, (referring to the "2000 Diehard 500 Fantasy Edition" wiki) Buttercup Simpson looks to redeem herself this evening after those 2 terrible races.
Benny Parsons (ESPN): Indeed, Bob. Buttercup Simpson really wants to win so badly and punch her ticket into the playoffs. After those 2 near-win moments, she might as well pull it ff tonight, but after qualifying in 40th for tonight's race, she's gonna have a lot of ground to make up.
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Will Buttercup Simpson finally get her first win of the season? We'll find out in 400 laps. The drivers are ready, the fans are ready, and WE'RE ready for the starting of the engines here in Richmond International Raceway! Let's go trackside for the command!
Track P.A Announcer: And now for the most famous words in all of auto racing, please welcome your grand marshal, from the "Crimson Chin" Comic Books, and now retired superhero, the Crimson Chin himself!
Crimson Chin: Gentlemen and Cleft The Boy Chin Wonder (referring to Timmy), Start Your Engines! *crowd cheers loudly and their picture-camera flashbulbs illuminate in the background*
*engines start and rev loudly in unison to the crowd cheering extremely loudly and their camera flashbulbs in the background* *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
Timmy: *starts his engine* Turbines ready for speed! *scene cuts to Trixie's cockpit* Just look at these flashbulbs from the packed stands!
Trixie: *just as she started her engine* You said it, Tim! These fans really want to see this! *scene cuts to Ed's cockpit*
Ed (just after he started his engine): Flashbulbs good for Ed! *revs his engine* *scene cuts to Rudy's cockpit*
Rudy (in unison to revving his engine loudly): Tonight's gonna be one wild night, guys! *scene cuts to ESPN Broadcast booth*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): The 43 "metal monsters" roar to life in the beautiful sunset illuminating the Richmond International Raceway as well as the flashbulbs going off from the stands as over 98,000 strong take their "memento pictures"! The green flag's comin' up next on ESPN! *scene cuts to Jackie Evancho on Edd's pitbox*
Jackie (on Edd's radio communicating with Edd): How are you feeling, hon? *scene cuts to Edd's cockpit*
Edd (on his radio communicating with Jackie / still lined up double file in the pits starting 2nd): I couldn't have been more excited like this in my entire life, my sweet pet. I always wanted to know what it's like to adapt to racing in the prime-time hours, especially adapting to competing in the beautiful sunset in the first 78 out of 400 laps.
Jackie (on Edd's radio communicating with Edd): The sunset is pretty, Edd, especially when it transitions into the glorious night.
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): We're set to go in tonight's race as the pace car pulls into the pits, as 98,000 strong are on their feet with their camera flashbulbs illuminating the evening, the #2 Rudy Tabootie leads the field to the line *cars accelerate to take the green flag waved by Reverend Lovejoy, crowd screams and cheers wildly in unison* as the green flag waves and the Pontiac Excitement 400 is on! Glad you're with us on ESPN!
Barney Hall (MRN Radio): Green flag goes in the air, and the Pontiac Excitement 400 is underway. We're about to find out 400 laps from now who is the best for the night as they go into Turn #1. It's a clean break at the front of the field, it's single-file there, and double-wide for 2nd place off Turn #2.
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): For the 2nd position, it's Jimmy Neutron trapped on the inside lane! Bloo Kazoo pulled down to his inside, racing side-by-side while Rudy Tabootie drives away by 3 car-lengths!
Allen Bestwick (MRN Radio): Kazoo to the inside, Neutron to the outside for the runner-up position! Behind them, it is Brock Harrison trying to get to the inside of Francis Bull-E for 4th! Bull-E's gonna win that race for a spot back into Turn #1!
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Further back, Eddward Marion dives down to the inside of Sheldon J. Plankton! Plankton started on the inside lane, now he's trapped on the outside lane, now racing alongside Marion! Closer to the front, it's still side-by-side for 2nd with Bloo Kazoo underneath Jimmy Neutron!
Barney Hall (MRN Radio): Bloo Kazoo's runnin' hard to get around Jimmy Neutron and get up there and chase the leader, Rudy Tabootie, but he's gonna lose that battle as they head to Turn #1. Jimmy Neutron pulled away by half a car-length. Bloo Kazoo comes right back after him. They still scramble for 2nd.
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Coming up off the corner, Rudy Tabootie pulls away by another car-length while they continue to do battle for the 2nd position! Coming to Turn #3, finally Jimmy Neutron drives in a little bit deeper! He'll grab the 2nd spot! Francis Bull-E's on the move!
Allen Bestwick (MRN Radio): Bull-E ducks down underneath Kazoo off Turn #4 and pulls even with him for the 3rd spot! Bull-E's down low, Kazoo's up top! Bull-E pokes the nose out in front as they drop into the turn!
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Bull-E has the advantage coming into the corner, and gets nose out in front and off Turn #2, he will slide by and pick off the 3rd position! So Bloo Kazoo falls back in line in 4th with Brock Harrison in 5th!
Barney Hall (MRN Radio): Francis Bull-E's showin' real early that he is still a big threat to win this evenin's race, as he's made a couple of really good moves, and keeps himself up there in 3rd place. Now it is single-file all the way back to about the 7th position, that is where the scramble is on. Ed Monobrow's to the bottom of the racetrack, tryin' to take a spot away off Turn #2.
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Monobrow works the inside line off Turn #2, heading down the backstraightaway! He'll pick up a position getting by Patrick Star! Just behind them, Finbarr Calamitous' on the move! He and Squidward Tentacles go at it side-by-side!
Allen Bestwick (MRN Radio): Here's pressure for the race lead as Jimmy Neutron peeks underneath Rudy Tabootie off Turn #4! Tabootie is able to hold him off for now, but Neutron's behind Tabootie's bumper back into Turn #2!
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Neutron found the outside line working! He's gonna try it on Rudy Tabootie! This time it does not! He is forced to fall back in line in the 2nd spot! Back for 3rd, here's Bloo Kazoo on the move! He's going after Francis Bull-E!
Barney Hall (MRN Radio): Bloo Kazoo's car's workin' good at the bottom of the racetrack. Francis Bull-E's workin' outside and inside. We've seen him make passes on both sides of the racetrack. High side and the low one. He hangs onto 3rd as they go back to Turn #1. Still Rudy Tabootie leads, Jimmy Neutron 2nd, Francis Bull-E 3rd, and Bloo Kazoo 4th. They're off Turn #2.
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Neutron, again looks to the outside for a chance at Rudy Tabootie! He can't quite make it stick, he's not CLOSE enough really to make a move! He'll settle back in line single-file as they enter Turn #3!
Allen Bestwick (MRN Radio): Rudy Tabootie leads, Jimmy Neutron's in 2nd, Francis Bull-E's in 3rd, Bloo Kazoo in 4th--! *in unison, Bubble Bass punts Mac into Mac, causing Mac to accidentally ram into Snap (Mac exclaims loudly in unison), sending Snap crashing into the Turn #3 outside retaining wall, and Snap cries out in unison, "UNGH! GREAT GUMBALLS--! OW!"*
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): WHOA! Trouble in Turn #3! Snap White slams into the outside retaining wall! He had made contact with another car, possibly Mac Kazoo! And there's a good bit of damage on Snap White's #12 Mobil 1 Ford!
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): The green flag flies and we're back underway here in Richmond, with Rudy Tabootie STILL the race leader! They remain single-file as they come into Turn #1.
Benny Parsons (ESPN): Now it it is already startin' to get racy, Bob! Because Brock Harrison is lookin' to make some moves on Francis Bull-E for the 4th spot, after Bull-E lost the 3rd spot to Bloo Kazoo! *scene cuts to Brock's cockpit*
In Turns 3 & 4, frontstretch to complete Lap 13 out of 400 laps, frontstraightaway, Turns 1 & 2, backstretch, and backstraightaway*
Brock (in 5th): Hey, Francis! Let me through and quit hogging the 4th position! *scene cuts to Francis' cockpit*
Francis (in 4th): Oh, really, Brock? If you had gotten by me, I would've definitely wailed on you in the next corner. *snobbish laugh* *scene cuts to Brock's cockpit*
Brock (in 5th): What type of human being are YOU, Francis?! No wonder why your last name is Bull-E, because you ARE one, Francis! *scene cuts to Edd's cockpit*
Edd (in 7th): Please ignore him, Brock. You continuously heckling Francis is only going to pressure him more, and maybe he WILL try put you in the wall if you pass him or attempt to pass him. *scene cuts to Jimmy's cockpit*
Jimmy (in 21st): Double-D's right, Brock! Just pay no attention to that big brute! *scene cuts to Brock's cockpit*
Brock (in 5th): Roger that, you 2! *scene cuts to the track*
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Here again, Brock Harrison's looking underneath Francis Bull-E for the 4th position! Just behind them for 6th, Eddward Marion's working on Sheldon J. Plankton for the 6th position!
Allen Bestwick (MRN Radio): Double-D looks down low off of Turn #4, tries to poke the nose inside as they come down the frontstretch... Plankton tries to slam the door on him in Turn #1, and Double-D had to back out, just BARELY missing Plankton's bumper!
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Just in front of them, Brock Harrison works the outside lane now, goes way up high, trying to get around Francis Bull-E! He's forced to fall back in line single-file as they enter Turn #3!
Barney Hall (MRN Radio): Now they ARE single-file all the way back through about the 15th or 18th position, but again, Francis Bull-E's determined to get up there and run with his Team Fastex rival, Bloo Kazoo. He lost the 4th spot to him on the restart a moment ago. He's CLOSE enough to strike, but he's got his hands full from behind goin' off Turn #2.
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Once again, it's Brock Harrison trying to work the outside lane! He's taken it all the way up to the wall, but has to fall back in line and remain single-file as they enter Turn #3!
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Ed Monobrow makes it 3-wide down the frontstretch and into the first corner! Look at that kid go!
Benny Parsons (ESPN): Ed really wants those spots badly, he's diggin' hard on the bottom of the racetrack! *scene cuts to Ed's cockpit*
(down the backstretch and into Turn #3)
Ed (in 8th / 3-wide with Eddy and Bloo): We're sorry to interrupt this program, but I, Ed is passing you and Bloo, Eddy! *scene cuts to Eddy's cockpit*
Eddy (in 6th / 3-wide with Ed and Bloo): Shut up, Ed. *scene cuts to the track*
Allen Bestwick (MRN Radio): Monobrow's down low, Bloo Kazoo up high... *in unison, Ed loses control and spins on the frontstretch and Ed exclaims (as he did in the "Ed, Edd n Eddy" episode, A Pinch To Grow An Ed") as he spun* *with sudden realization* MONOBROW SPINS OFF TURN #4! He bounced off Bloo Kazoo and spins down the frontstretch and into the grass! Aw, tough luck for Ed Monobrow after that spin on Lap 262!
*scene cuts to Marge's Cayonero car (in reference to Marge's car in "The Simpsons") coming home from a fancy restaurant where they had their first dinner as a married couple*
Homer (while listening to his & Marge's wedding song on the radio): This song brings me back...*angrily* And when it's over, I'm back in the present where our kids exist!!!
Marge (flirty): Oh, Homey, you're so handsome when you're enraged.. *sighs with love, then encounters the time on the clock saying 11:31 PM* (with sudden realization) *gasps* Oh, my goodness!
Homer (dreamly): Is my charm turning you on? *Marge rapidly switches the radio to the race*
Joe Moore (MRN Radio / voice only/ with the race playing on Marge's car radio): *wedding song* --The race is for 4th position, Bart Simpson is there, piling it on the high side of the racetrack alongside Bubble Bass looking for the position....
Homer (right after Joe Moore's first 6 quotes / waking up with a start) *groans* Lisa!!!! You're giving the Simpson name a bad...n-name!!!
Marge: You didn't even tell me there was a race tonight, Homey! You know we have to support our children!
Homer: But that was a great song--!
Marge: Shut up and listen to the race! We need to know where Lisa is!
Homer (to himself): *groans* Why did I have to play "hooky" tonight to have my date with Marge?! *scene cuts back to the Richmond Int'l Raceway then cuts to Princess Morebucks' cockpit*
(Lap 393 out of 400 laps)
(on the backstretch, backstraightaway, and into Turns 3 & 4)
Princess Morebucks (in 2nd): (angrily) After this race, my daddy's going to OWN NASCAR!!!! And everyone has to drive in paint schemes designed by me!!!!! Whatta ya think of that, Li'l Lisa?! *scene cuts to Lisa's cockpit*
Lisa (In 1st): Stay off my rear bumper, Morebi--*bleep*--! And will you ever quit whining?! *scene cuts to Morebucks' cockpit*
Princess Morebucks (in 2nd): I'll put you in the fu--*bleep*--ing wall for saying that, nerdy Simpson! *scene cuts to Lisa's cockpit*
Lisa (in 1st): HAH! You're worse than Francine! (referring to her school bully in "The Simpsons" episode, "Bye Bye, Nerdy") *scene cuts to the track*
Barney Hall (MRN Radio): They all cross the start/finish line and go back into Turn #1, Trixie Tang and Cindy Vortex trying to thrash out the 6th position back there as they work on it in the final laps, there are 7 to go. Meanwhile, Princess Morebucks is 2 car-lengths behind Lisa Simpson for the lead in Turn #3.
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Morebucks is closing it in even more within a couple of car lengths as Lisa Simpson goes up the banking in Turn #3!
Allen Bestwick (MRN Radio): Morebucks draws now to within 1 car length off the corner! To the stripe, we got 6 laps to go! Catching her is one thing, PASSING her is another, ready for a shootout to the finish of the race! They're in Turn #2!
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Simpson's about halfway up the racetrack! Now coming up off the corner, Morebucks is close enough to strike, but does she have the power to make the move?! For now she's on the rear-deck on Lisa Simpson, charging back to Turn #3! *scene cuts to Morebucks' cockpit*
(off Turn #4 and on the frontstretch, frontstraightaway and into Turn #1)
Princess Morebucks (in 2nd): Give it up, Lisa the Lose-AH! There's only room in this town for one princess and that's ME!!! So race back to last where you belong!!!!
Lisa (in 1st / voice only): Stay away from me!
Princess Morebucks (in 2nd): You get your a--*bleep*-- back here! *scene cuts to Marge's Cayonero car, passing the Kwik E Mart*
Marge (vigorously / while listening to the race on the radio): *while pumping her right fist* C'mon, Lisa! Block her while you can!
Homer: Can the race be over already--?!
Marge: Shut up, Homey! Lisa's winning, and there coming with 3 laps to go! *scene cuts to the Richmond Int'l Raceway coming to 4 laps to go*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Once again, Morebucks tries to move alongside Lisa Simpson! It's been a clean battle between these two. Three laps to go!
Benny Parsons (ESPN): That's exactly what I was thinking, Bob! How clean it is! Now right here's where Morebucks has beaten Lisa! But off turn 4, Lisa is beating Morbucks! That might be where they really count and back when they come to the start/finish line.
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Here's Morebucks again. To the inside of Simpson.
Benny Parsons (ESPN) Well that time...
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Ooh, they're almost side-by-side. This MAYBE when Morebucks passes!
Benny Parsons (ESPN): She's got a run but she can't use that momentum off the corner! Simpson comes back!
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Great, great battle!
Benny Parsons (ESPN): Morebucks had to back off coming off the turn.
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): White flag comin' out! Will be it be Simpson or Morebucks at Richmond?! 1 more lap to go!
*scene cuts to Morebucks' cockpit*
(into Turns 1 & 2)
Morebucks (in 2nd): Give it up missy, or I'll bodyslam you in the last turns! *scene cuts to Lisa's cockpit*
Lisa (in 1st): MAKE me, bratty Morebi--*bleep*--! *scene cuts to Lisa's onboard camera on ESPN*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Morebucks heads for the inside coming off Turn #2, down the backstretch! Morebucks pulls alongside, but Simpson inches ahead as they move straight through the 3rd and 4th corners, they're coming to the line for the win it is... LISA SIMPSON winning over Princess Morebucks! What a great race for Team Fastex!
Benny Parsons (ESPN): Just incredible, Bob! *scene cuts to Lisa's cockpit*
Lisa (finishing 1st): YAY! I WON, I WON, I WON! Take that, spoiled brat girl! YEAH!!!!
Morebucks (finishing 2nd / voice only): *growls* I'll get you in the All-Star Race next week, pony-hugger! (foreshadowing the "PEPSI All-Star Challenge Fantasy Edition") You wait and see, ya jerk!
Lisa (finishing 1st): *chuckles triumphantly* I love when Morebucks throws her infamous fits. *scene cuts to the ESPN Broadcast Booth*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN) Lisa Simpson clinches her 2nd win of the year after winning here in Richmond, Virginia and man oh man she must be one happy driver. *scene cuts to Marge's Cayonero car*
Allen Bestwick (MRN Radio / voice only/ heard on Marge's radio): To the stripe they come! Lisa Simpson will win by a hood! Lisa Simpson holds off a last lap charge by Princess Morebucks to score her 2nd win of the NASCAR Winston Cup Series season...
Marge (triumphantly): *pumps fist triumphantly* Yes! Atta girl. Lise! *sighs* My baby girl is just so talented when it comes to racing.
Homer: Can we put our wedding song back on again?
Marge: Sheesh! Fine, Homie,
Marge: And by the way, be prepared for next weekend when NASCAR penalizes you for playing hooky just to go out to dinner with me.